Hooray! It's been a month since surgery! It's been a loooong month, but I'm happy it's behind me. I'm not fully recovered, but I finally don't need bandages! I can wash my hair with both hands (I had to do one side at a time before) and I can kinda hug my kids if I use more shoulder than chest. I'm still exclusively wearing cotton sport bras, but I can wear the pull-over kind now which are so much more comfortable for sleeping. The most exciting change is that I can sleep on my side! I've been sleeping a lot better, which I'm sure is helping me heal better as well.
I've started massaging my scars with Aquaphor and it seems like some of the wrinkly areas are smoothing out. I still have some bruising, but my Frankenboobies are well on their way to looking human. The shape is still a little strange with more swelling on my sides, but I think I look normal with clothes on. Speaking of clothes, everything fits so much better! I was concerned that all my clothes would be too big...some are, but mostly my shirts just fit...well...normal! I feel more comfortable dressing modestly, so another exciting change is that my cleavage starts about an inch lower, so V-necks don't seem to go as low. I will confess, I liked my belly better back when I couldn't see it, but for the most part I do like my new shape. And being able to see my belly will help me make better choices. I'm excited to get the "all clear" from my doctor to start exercising...and I'm excited for summer to run around with my kids.
It's been a tough transitional month, and the winter blues certainly do not help, but I'm optimistic and excited to continue learning about my new body! It's hard to explain, but my thinking is changing on many levels and it's interesting to look back and see the difference for the better. It seems there is not much that can happen to the body that does not affect the soul.
When I started researching breast reduction surgery, I came across a few helpful blogs. It was good to hear that I wasn't alone in my secret pain...and good to hear all the aspects of surgery that a doctor wouldn't think to tell me. I started writing privately just to sort out my feelings, but I think it's good to have this information out there. I hope it's helpful to someone. You are not alone!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Post-op Appointments
I went back to the doctor 5 days after surgery. It was a bit unnecessary since all she did was look at me to make sure things were healing okay...but it was reassuring. And I got a new prescription for pain meds, so that's always good. The doctor sent me home from surgery with a prescription for Percocet, but I think it was giving me some pretty bad headaches and I didn't like how messed up I was feeling. Vicodin seemed to be a better option for me. After about a week, though, I started getting headaches again. I tapered off the meds and took Ibuprofen occasionally when needed, which wasn't often.
My second appointment, 2 weeks later was more invasive. The nurse removed the tape and adhesive from my incisions. I did not enjoy this. My skin is very sensitive and really holds on to adhesive, so it wasn't very easy to get off...and the idea of anyone touching my owies makes me freak out. This was probably the worst part of my whole experience so far. In some ways, it set me back a week. My wounds are more tender and have started to weep again, so I need to wear pads/bandages in my bra again. They are itchy. I'm just overall a lot more uncomfortable than I was last week. However, on the bright side, I look a lot better. All the dried blood is gone and the scars seem to be forming nicely.
There are a few areas that concern me on my sides where the skin is more wrinkled and not smooth, the skin looks folded. The doctor said that is something they can fix later. I'm not thrilled about "fixing" anything later. The nurse said that they had to work within the sterile field and couldn't roll me during surgery to work with detail on my sides. I guess that makes sense, but I'd prefer it was just done right the first time. She did say that once the swelling goes down, some of the wrinkly areas will smooth out. I guess we'll see.
I have been having trouble sleeping because I'm still very uncomfortable at night. I still need to sleep on my back...I hate sleeping on my back. The doctor gave me Tylenol 3 to take before bed and that seems to be helping, though I feel a bit hungover in the morning.
My second appointment, 2 weeks later was more invasive. The nurse removed the tape and adhesive from my incisions. I did not enjoy this. My skin is very sensitive and really holds on to adhesive, so it wasn't very easy to get off...and the idea of anyone touching my owies makes me freak out. This was probably the worst part of my whole experience so far. In some ways, it set me back a week. My wounds are more tender and have started to weep again, so I need to wear pads/bandages in my bra again. They are itchy. I'm just overall a lot more uncomfortable than I was last week. However, on the bright side, I look a lot better. All the dried blood is gone and the scars seem to be forming nicely.
There are a few areas that concern me on my sides where the skin is more wrinkled and not smooth, the skin looks folded. The doctor said that is something they can fix later. I'm not thrilled about "fixing" anything later. The nurse said that they had to work within the sterile field and couldn't roll me during surgery to work with detail on my sides. I guess that makes sense, but I'd prefer it was just done right the first time. She did say that once the swelling goes down, some of the wrinkly areas will smooth out. I guess we'll see.
I have been having trouble sleeping because I'm still very uncomfortable at night. I still need to sleep on my back...I hate sleeping on my back. The doctor gave me Tylenol 3 to take before bed and that seems to be helping, though I feel a bit hungover in the morning.
Monday, December 5, 2011
First Post-op Days (more surgery details)
There were two things that I was absolutely dreading: drainage tubes and staples. I was ecstatic to find that I didn't have to deal with either! I was also surprised that I wasn't in more pain. I mean, it hurt, but I was really prepared for the worst. I have NO pain tolerance, but it was manageable. The doctor sent me home with a very small tube running into each breast attached to a small pain medication pump I could wear around my waist. The tubes were coiled up and taped to my chest right under my neck. This will probably be the only picture I will post (if you are looking for before and after pictures, there are many online. plasticsurgery.org is a good source)
In all the research I have done, I haven't seen this used before. It looked a lot more scary than it was...all the coils just ensure that I couldn't yank the tubes out by accident. You can also see some of the bruising that was starting. The combination of this direct pain medication and oral medication kept me at a very tolerable pain level. It still hurt to move and my arms were fairly useless. I didn't feel like I could quite straighten my back, so I felt a bit hunched over. I basically spent the first week in our recliner, but I had to have someone else raise/lower the lever for me. My sides were the most painful. The doctor told me that because of gravity, I would have the most swelling there.
The type of surgery I had is sometimes called "keyhole" incision. My kids had a ton of questions, so I found this video that does a good job of explaining without being too graphic: http://video.about.com/womenshealth/Breast-Reduction.htm
(Though that model sure doesn't have much to remove!)
I had about about 450 grams removed from one side, about 550 from the other...a little over 2 pounds total. I never really realized one side was much bigger than the other, and now I'm curious how that imbalance of weight affected my back pain. I have stitches that will dissolve and the wounds are covered with Dermabond, a topical skin adhesive. I was directed to wear a clean bra daily and change my bandages twice a day. I was sent home in a comfortable surgical bra/vest with a thick band of elastic that sat low on my torso. I had some front-close sport bras to change into, but I was too sensitive to have that bra band so close to my incisions. We ended up using a 6" ace bandage to wrap me up while the surgical bra was getting washed. After the first week, the surgical bra became too cumbersome and the sport bras were better. After a few days of clean bandages, I'm now able to wear a sport bra without bandages. I'm still pretty sensitive...always have been, always will be....so I wear the sport bras inside out so the seams don't bother me as much.
The type of surgery I had is sometimes called "keyhole" incision. My kids had a ton of questions, so I found this video that does a good job of explaining without being too graphic: http://video.about.com/womenshealth/Breast-Reduction.htm
(Though that model sure doesn't have much to remove!)
I had about about 450 grams removed from one side, about 550 from the other...a little over 2 pounds total. I never really realized one side was much bigger than the other, and now I'm curious how that imbalance of weight affected my back pain. I have stitches that will dissolve and the wounds are covered with Dermabond, a topical skin adhesive. I was directed to wear a clean bra daily and change my bandages twice a day. I was sent home in a comfortable surgical bra/vest with a thick band of elastic that sat low on my torso. I had some front-close sport bras to change into, but I was too sensitive to have that bra band so close to my incisions. We ended up using a 6" ace bandage to wrap me up while the surgical bra was getting washed. After the first week, the surgical bra became too cumbersome and the sport bras were better. After a few days of clean bandages, I'm now able to wear a sport bra without bandages. I'm still pretty sensitive...always have been, always will be....so I wear the sport bras inside out so the seams don't bother me as much.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Backstory
I vividly remember the day I snapped. It was summer, a few months after my second baby was born. I hate summer and I hate heat. My experience has been that breastfeeding makes both problems worse. I was up to an "I" cup at this point which left me only a few options for nursing bras, all uncomfortable and scratchy, and none of which looked very flattering under summer clothes. I wanted to take my baby and 2-year-old to the park, so I was attempting to find something to wear that would be suitable for public viewing. I don't know how to explain this to those of you who haven't experienced this and I know I don't have to explain for those of you who have. Needless to say, the combination of postpartum hormones, the heat, leaking milk, baby crying, itchy bras, the heat, and trying to find clothes that fit sent me over the edge. We never did make it to the park, but I did make the decision that set me on the path toward breast reduction. Something had to give.
I spent a lot of time looking for information online. Chances are if it can be Googled, I read it. The main thing that concerned me was the possibility that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed after the surgery, so I came to the conclusion that I had to wait until I was sure that I was done procreating. In the meantime, I started to make sure that my problems were documented every chance I got. I mentioned how my large breasts negatively affected me at every OB/GYN appointment. I talked about the possibility of breast reduction with my family doctor and my chiropractor. All of them agreed that they would help me if I needed more paperwork to convince my insurance company. In the end, I didn't need their help (or a referral), but there was no way I could have known that at the time. If I had ended up with a different insurance company, I may have needed it. All the talking did, however, boost my confidence and made me feel that I really did have a problem that could be solved. I didn't necessarily have to continue to suffer the rest of my life. I still had my doubts, but it always helps to have a professional agree with me.
I had my mind *mostly* made up that I would eventually go through surgery, but I was also still apprehensive. Making such a large change is overwhelming. I liked how I looked (packed into a really supportive bra) but I hated how I felt. In a society that apparently puts high value on large breasts, it almost feels "wrong" to wish to be smaller. Many of my small-breasted friends would make comments about how they wished they had larger breasts. I would tell them to be happy with the way they are or I'd whomp 'em over the head with one of mine. All joking aside, I know it's in our nature to want what we don't have. Women with straight hair get perms, and those with curly hair use straightening irons. Silly humans, we all are! Still, I have lived with the "glory" of large breasts long enough to know they just aren't worth the pain. They make breastfeeding more difficult, they are heavy, my back hurts, bras are uncomfortable and hard to find, exercising and playing with my kids is more difficult, they are hot and bulky in summer, and it's difficult to find clothes that fit and cover.
Over the next five years since that fateful summer day, I ended up having two more children. My weight went up and down, but my bra size stayed about the same, just a cup or two larger when breastfeeding. When I was pregnant with my fourth baby, I KNEW that he was my last. I started looking for a plastic surgeon. I read through my insurance information carefully. I was limited to a few "preferred providers" that my insurance would cover. I started making calls and asking questions. I looked up the clinics and doctors online. It seemed the concensus was that breastfeeding moms should wait a year after weening before having surgery, so that gave me a timeline to work with. The next step was to make an appointment for a consultation.
I spent a lot of time looking for information online. Chances are if it can be Googled, I read it. The main thing that concerned me was the possibility that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed after the surgery, so I came to the conclusion that I had to wait until I was sure that I was done procreating. In the meantime, I started to make sure that my problems were documented every chance I got. I mentioned how my large breasts negatively affected me at every OB/GYN appointment. I talked about the possibility of breast reduction with my family doctor and my chiropractor. All of them agreed that they would help me if I needed more paperwork to convince my insurance company. In the end, I didn't need their help (or a referral), but there was no way I could have known that at the time. If I had ended up with a different insurance company, I may have needed it. All the talking did, however, boost my confidence and made me feel that I really did have a problem that could be solved. I didn't necessarily have to continue to suffer the rest of my life. I still had my doubts, but it always helps to have a professional agree with me.
I had my mind *mostly* made up that I would eventually go through surgery, but I was also still apprehensive. Making such a large change is overwhelming. I liked how I looked (packed into a really supportive bra) but I hated how I felt. In a society that apparently puts high value on large breasts, it almost feels "wrong" to wish to be smaller. Many of my small-breasted friends would make comments about how they wished they had larger breasts. I would tell them to be happy with the way they are or I'd whomp 'em over the head with one of mine. All joking aside, I know it's in our nature to want what we don't have. Women with straight hair get perms, and those with curly hair use straightening irons. Silly humans, we all are! Still, I have lived with the "glory" of large breasts long enough to know they just aren't worth the pain. They make breastfeeding more difficult, they are heavy, my back hurts, bras are uncomfortable and hard to find, exercising and playing with my kids is more difficult, they are hot and bulky in summer, and it's difficult to find clothes that fit and cover.
Over the next five years since that fateful summer day, I ended up having two more children. My weight went up and down, but my bra size stayed about the same, just a cup or two larger when breastfeeding. When I was pregnant with my fourth baby, I KNEW that he was my last. I started looking for a plastic surgeon. I read through my insurance information carefully. I was limited to a few "preferred providers" that my insurance would cover. I started making calls and asking questions. I looked up the clinics and doctors online. It seemed the concensus was that breastfeeding moms should wait a year after weening before having surgery, so that gave me a timeline to work with. The next step was to make an appointment for a consultation.
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